A few days ago, I was cooking dinner for my family. I had the Tv on, not so much so I could watch a particular show, but to have some nice background noise whilst I slaved in the kitchen. While I was chopping onions, something strange caught my ear… I don’t pay much particular mind to condom commercials in general, but this one struck me as odd, being that it was aired some what earlier in the day than usual. Another oddity that struck me was the fact that the commercial was advertising “Trojan Bearskin Condoms”. I was astonished, to say the least. I quickly looked at the TV, hoping to prove myself wrong. I was, in fact, wrong. the advertisement was actually for “Trojan Bare Skin Condoms”. Unfortunately, my over- excitable brain had already taken the concept of a world that included bearskin condoms to an incredible height.
In that brief period of time, my mind was able to ask questions such as: “who’s idea was this?” and “wouldn’t they be horribly abrasive?” I wondered if the fur would be on the inside of the condom, or the outside, and if you could pay extra for the bear paw to remain attached. Who would be their target market? Bestiality enthusiasts?
Bestiality. That led me to my next question… Would condoms such as these be tested on animals? Let us assume, for the sake of the readers’ entertainment, that the condoms are, in fact, tested on animals. Who do you suppose would do the honors of actually testing the product? I don’t think there would be many eager volunteers within the Trojan company! I wonder if they could go to the local prisons and look for people who have been charged with inappropriate interspecies relations and bestiality and the like. The interview process would probably be fascinating, to say the least….

“Mr. McDonald, we have been given to understand that you own a farm, is this correct?”
“Why, yes sir, it is.”
“And on this farm, you have some pigs?”

Needless to say, dinner was on the table a little bit later than usual that evening…